When the Holidays Feel Big for Our Neurodivergent Kids

Besides Halloween, Christmas is my son, Liam's, favorite time of the year.

He loves the lights, the decorations, the rituals… and the snow. This year he’s wanted to go outside constantly, bundled up and ready to play the second the flakes hit the ground. Watching him laugh out there has been one of my favorite parts of December.

But loving the holidays and loving the holiday events are two very different things.

We have a neighborhood Christmas carols-and-cocktails night coming up, and he’s… not exactly excited. New people, new noise, new expectations—it’s a lot.

And yet, slowly (on his own terms), he’s warming to the idea.

Not rushing in.

Not forcing it.

Just small moments of openness.

And honestly? That’s enough.

At home, we stay rooted in what feels safe and predictable:

• We hang stockings (yes, the cats get theirs, too.)

• We bake cookies.

• We play the same holiday playlist every year.

• We keep our routines steady so he has something familiar to return to.

And when the world gets too loud or the day feels too big, Liam takes his space without apology. Resetting is part of his rhythm: joy, overwhelm, retreat, return.

If you’re parenting a neurodivergent child this season, here are a few things that have helped us:

✨ 1. Choose comfort over tradition. Skip the events that cost your child too much. A calm night at home counts as holiday magic, too.

✨ 2. Prep ahead—even for the fun things. Talking through the plan, showing photos, and setting expectations reduces the unknown (and the anxiety that comes with it).

✨ 3. Build in breaks before they’re needed. A quiet room, a walk outside, a time-out from noise — all of it is valid.

✨ 4. Give grace—to your child and yourself. It’s not about fitting in. It’s about feeling comfortable, feeling safe, and creating a holiday that supports your child’s nervous system, not overwhelms it.

What I’m learning is that progress doesn’t always show up as brave moments or big, dramatic steps forward. Sometimes it looks like a kid who adores the magic of Christmas but still needs space from the parts that feel overwhelming… and who is slowly, at a snail’s pace, stretching into things that once felt impossible.

Slow progress is still progress.

And around here, we celebrate every bit of it.

Until next time,

Vanessa ❄️💙

You don’t need to have all the answers right now. I certainly didn’t when I first started learning how to support my son, Liam. If you’re ready for guidance that understands both the science and the emotions of raising a neurodivergent child, our therapists at Parenting Autism Therapy are here for you. Many are parents of neurodivergent kids themselves—and they truly get it.

Looking for help now? Get Started Here!

Coming Next: Planning NYE With Sensory Needs in Mind

Follow me on Instagram @beyondthemilestonesfam for honest autism parenting—a safe space filled with laughter, love, and the messy reality in between, where we celebrate our own timelines and support each other through the highs and lows. You're not alone here.