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Rachel Wheeler

Rachel Wheeler_edited.jpg
I don’t just study neurodiversity—I live it.​

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I’m an AuDHD therapist, a neurodivergent parent raising a beautifully complex child with multiple neurodivergences, and someone who has spent her life learning how to translate across differences.


I work with parents who are exhausted by power struggles, overwhelmed by school systems that don’t understand their child, and heartbroken by how isolated parenting a neurodivergent child can feel.

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Parenting Neurodivergent Kids as a Neurodivergent Parent

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I’m raising a child who is profoundly sensitive, wired differently, and deeply attuned.

 

And I’m doing it while managing my own neurodivergent nervous system.

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Our household isn’t built on conventional parenting models—it’s built on flexibility, attunement, and co-regulation.

 

I’ve had to learn how to respond to meltdowns without collapsing myself. How to advocate without burning out. How to honor my child’s wiring while also respecting mine.

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This lived experience informs every parent I support.

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I help parents:

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  • Make sense of behaviors that others misinterpret
     

  • Build connection and reduce conflict
     

  • Create realistic accommodations at home
     

  • Grieve the loss of typical parenting narratives without losing hope
     

  • Reclaim moments of joy—even in the hard seasons
     

Parenting doesn’t get easier—but it can become more meaningful, more supported, and more aligned.

Neurodiversity Is My Special Interest

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If there were a degree in neurodiversity, I’d have it.

 

I’ve taken over 50 advanced trainings in autism, ADHD, PDA (Pervasive Drive for Autonomy), trauma, relationships, and parenting.

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I’m autistic. I have ADHD. I have a PDA profile.

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And I’m raising a child who shares many of these traits.

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Understanding how neurodivergence impacts attachment, communication, school, daily living, and emotional regulation isn’t just a passion—it’s a necessity in my life and work.

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Therapy Grounded in Lived Experience

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Everything I know clinically is shaped by my life experience.

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I know what it’s like to be the parent in the IEP meeting fighting for accommodations no one understands.

 

I know the guilt of losing patience after sensory overload.

 

I know the love that’s so fierce it hurts—and the loneliness that comes when others just don’t get your child.

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When I sit with parents, I’m not just offering strategies—I’m offering solidarity.

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Marriage and Co-Parenting When Everyone’s Neurodivergent

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My husband and I have been together for over 16 years, building a marriage that’s survived miscommunication, misunderstandings, and sensory mismatches.

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Before my diagnosis, we kept missing each other.

 

Since learning about our neurotypes, everything has shifted—from blame to compassion, from confusion to clarity.

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We now co-parent in a way that honors both of our capacities—and supports our child’s autonomy and emotional safety.

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I help other parents do the same: build strong co-parenting dynamics, even when both partners are overwhelmed or wired very differently.

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Understanding PDA in Kids and Adults

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PDA—often called Pathological Demand Avoidance—is commonly misread as defiance. I call it Pervasive Drive for Autonomy.

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For PDA kids, every directive can feel like a threat to their nervous system.

 

For PDA parents, even the suggestion to “take a break” can feel like control.

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I work with families to:

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  • Spot PDA patterns early
     

  • Reduce control-based interactions
     

  • Create autonomy-supportive structures
     

  • Respond to resistance with empathy, not escalation
     

Whether your child or you (or both) experience PDA, I offer a framework that replaces shame with understanding.

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Masking and Camouflaging in the Home

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I was a highly camouflaging autistic person. My child is not.

 

Watching her authenticity showed me what I had hidden—and what I could reclaim.

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Many ND kids mask at school and unravel at home. Many ND parents mask around teachers, family, and even their own kids.

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In therapy, we explore:

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  • How masking shows up in daily life
     

  • The toll it takes on identity and energy
     

  • What it looks like to unmask with intention and safety
     

You don’t have to pretend at home. Neither does your child.

 

I help families build spaces where everyone can show up as themselves.

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What Really Matters

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A few years ago, I had a near-death experience.

 

It reset how I view time, relationships, and what actually counts.

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Parenting, at its core, is not about control—it’s about presence. It’s about connection, attunement, and learning from each rupture how to repair and rebuild.

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I bring this lens to every session.

 

Not perfection, not performance—just honesty, safety, and the courage to grow together.

Outside the Therapy Room

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I walk in nature, meditate, cook with my daughter, move my body through yoga and dance, and unwind with a good British drama.

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These are the rhythms that restore me—and that help me model nervous system care to my child and the families I support.

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What I Offer

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  • Therapy for parents raising neurodivergent children
     

  • Support for navigating school systems, burnout, and emotional overwhelm
     

  • Expertise in PDA, sensory needs, masking, and co-regulation
     

  • Deep understanding of how parenting intersects with your own neurodivergence
     

If you’ve ever felt like other parents just don’t get it—you’re right. And you’re not alone.

When you're ready, I'm here.​​​

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Training & Background

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  • MS in Advanced Clinical Practice, Columbia University
     

  • Two years of study at the C.G. Jung Institute in Switzerland
     

  • PDA North America Level 2 Certified
     

  • PAST PDA UK Level 3 Certified
     

  • 50+ advanced trainings in neurodivergence, trauma, and relationships
     

  • Associate Clinical Social Worker, #126649
     

  • Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452
     

  • Employed by New Path Family of Therapy Centers

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